ATTENTION Howard County drug users!

If you purchased drugs from James Watson (the fat guy at the Columbia Restaurant Park McDonald's, or you may possibly know him from Deep Run trailer park) in the spring of 2015, they may have been cut with cat ashes.

Yes, as in the remains of a dead cat. MY dead cat.

So if you started licking yourself for no reason, or randomly knocking stuff off tables, or kamikaze jumping on the bed at 3am, now you know why.

Oh, and if James gifted you with a deep fryer or a vinyl-to-mp3 converter, it was stolen from my house.